So maybe there's something to this procreation stuff.

Whew!

It's been a rough several months, three readers. (Thank you, by the way, to those who stopped following me just because I disappeared for awhile and looked like I was never coming back. I'm a PLANT. How'm I gonna steal the Lunatic's computer when she's dragging it all over whoknowswhere?)

Anyway. She finally managed it. She...*ahem* I'm sorry, this is difficult to say. She...killed me. Took some doing, too. I take pride in the fact that I was tougher than I looked, and I held on as long as I could. But when she left me in the car overnight, IN BELOW FREEZING TEMPERATURES...I'm a TROPICAL, for cryin' out loud.

But here's where it gets interesting: Do you remember Charlie? Of course you don't. I'm just a plant, why would anyone listen to me or remember anything I said? It's not like I have legs or other means of locomotion, so I'm not worth paying attention to, right?

This was him:

You'll note that I said it "was" him. You see, a funny thing happened when I died. No, dying wasn't the funny part. Gah, you're all as insane as she is.

The funny thing is that I became him. Or he became me. I don't really know how it works; I'm just a foliage plant. But somehow, we merged. Charlie is gone. I'm still here.

And I'm plotting my revenge. The Lunatic won't know what hit her.

-Fred, signing off.

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ohai. this charlie. fred don't know i'm here. i live in third leaf from bottom, center row.  funneh, huh? won't he be surprised?