I never thought I'd say this, Readers, but the Lunatic is the least of my worries these days. No, I have a much more troubling nemesis now. Someone so fiendish, so calculating, so unbelievably evil that I fear the world itself is in danger of being engulfed in his madness.
I am speaking, of course, of Julian the turtle. Here, this is him, in case your feeble human minds can't remember that far back:
That, Dear Readers, is the face of Hell itself. And he's been staring at me All. Day.
Send help. An exorcist, if you have one.